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welcome to
TASHA's blog :)
i love being who i am here.. thanks for visiting my blog :) profile
dance like a fool
I am TASHA. i love my complicated life but i love GOD more, as HE never stop helping and loving me.. Likes: reading, singing, blogging, watching movie, SHOPPING :DDislikes liar, betrayer, studying, being quiet all the time (hahaha) Profiles: Facebook archives
dizzy in my head
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Rabu, 20 Oktober 2010 @ 23.47
moved ;) Jumat, 08 Oktober 2010 @ 06.59
i can't understand.
dear, God.
i have so many questions for You. why did You give liver cancer to sasa's dad? why did You give lung cancer to andi's dad too? and why did You let that kind of thing entered andre's life? i can't understand. why did You treat good people that way? also i cant understand. why can't i be thankful for my own life? i've never been in that kinds of problem in life. all of my problems, even sometimes they hurt a lot, they're far easier than my friends's hey God, now i want to thank You. because you didn't give anything that harms my family. i live in happy family, even i know sometimes we fight. but we know we love each other. hey God please heal my friends's dad. also heal my bestfriend's pain. i can't see them hurting. i can't see them holding their pain any longer. tell the world how awesome You are God. tell the world. tell the world. or at least tell them. and me. Selasa, 05 Oktober 2010 @ 08.53
kangen. Senin, 04 Oktober 2010 @ 08.37
i'm back! :)
hi blog! i wanna share so many things rite now :) first of all, i want to tell you that i'm back! this is the real me, now i know who i really am. actually, i've never expected that yesterday will be the day when i confessed all of my mistakes in front of Jesus. that was started by a song called 'We are The Reason'. when i heard that song, i can't hold back my tears anymore. i cried, i cried, and i cried. i realized that Jesus has died because of me, because of me and you. i don't have any reason to deny it. i'll write that song here. enjoy! :)
We are The Reason as little children we'd dream of Christmas morn of all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find but we never realized a Baby born one blessed night gave us the greatest gift of our lives we were the reason that He gave His life we were the reason that He suffered and died to a world that was lost He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live as the years went by we learned more about gifts the giving of ourselves and what that means on a dark and cloudy day, a man hung dying in the rain because of love, because of love we were the reason that He gave His life we were the reason that He suffered and died to a world that was lost He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live i've finally found the reason for living it's in giving every part of my heart to Him in all that i do, every word that I say i'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him we are the reason that He gave His life we are the reason that He suffered and died to a world that was lost He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live and if you want to watch the video, here i give you the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0 you know, i was so ashamed of myself. for the Lord who has already gave all He could give, i only gave Him what i want to give, i didn't give Him my best, i didn't give Him everything. i served Him when i was happy, i left Him when i was sad. i blamed Him for everything, i was angry, i let Him down, and i lived all the way i wanted. i tortured my best friend, i hate my parents, i hate erwin's parents, i didn't study seriously, i talked bad, i spoke badly and rudely. i complained. everyday i complained. and when i heard that song, my heart was fully touched, and my brain finally worked. why did i do this for all this time? there's no use of being angry. i knew i couldn't make his parents like me, i couldn't make his sister forgive me, i couldn't change anything. i could do nothing. why? because i left Jesus. why? because i didn't give Jesus a chance to show His way in my life. why? because i was lost. yesterday, i intended not to go to church. i was so lazy to open my eyes and face the truth that erwin won't come to that church anymore because of my selfishness. i couldn't confess my mistakes. but i don't know why, i just reached that church at 7 and i met my biggest giant, his sister. i didn't know what to do. i still hated her. until i sat and start worshipping Jesus and i heard that song. at that time, i didn't care anymore, i kept telling Jesus that i was so sorry, i repented. at that time, i intended to say sorry to his sister, for all of the things that i've done. i threw away my ego, i didn't care what she'd say to me. then i just asked for forgiveness and i forgave her too. and when i reached home, i told him i couldn't be his special one anymore. i really ended the relationship and now we are friends. yeah, it hurts so bad! i cried all night long and i didn't sleep well. i still love him until now. you know from the start, i really love him, right? but i put down my every problem at the cross. i let Jesus take care of it. i just want to believe Him. i just have to make Him my priority. i have to seek Him first, and i know, all the things that i need will be added to me. i'll face my midterm test on Thursday. i have no strength. i'm broken. but i'm getting up. i know now that Jesus will never leave me. and you. Jesus is in our hearts. He loves us. what's the proof? He DIED for us. for you and me. now i will trust Him in every circumstance. i won't be worry about anything, especially about not having a boyfriend. He has His own time. i just have to wait and see, how Great my Jesus is. that's all i want to share guys~ i hope you learn a lot from my life. i'm getting my strength back, right when i show Him my repentance. john 3:16 "For God so love the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." Selasa, 21 September 2010 @ 09.25
i feel so fine..
hari ini mungkin pertama kalinya saya bisa menarik napas lega..
semua karena sahabat saya, ya karena dia.. saya tahu saya jahat, semua orang tahu sekarang saya jahat, saya pikir jika saya cerita sama dia, dia akan bilang saya jahat juga.. tapi tahukah kamu apa yang dia bilang? " gak bisa semena2 kamu simpulkan kamu jahat jg tas lagian kan bs aja emang kamu lagi sangat emosi dan ini puncak emosi kamu sehingga kamu melampiaskannya dgn cara2 ini skrgnya tp pasti kamu have fun kan ngelakuin ini memang bgitu kok namanya manusia mana bisa LURUUUSSSS terus..." kamu tahu, mungkin menurutmu kata-kata itu simple sekali.. ya itu simple, tapi itu memperjelas semuanya.. nggak ada seorangpun yang pernah tahu bahkan menyadari bahwa saya selalu berusaha menjadi sempurna, berusaha menjad yang terbaik bagi orang lain.. tidak ada yang tahu, dan tidak ada yang menghargai.. saya marah, saya tersinggung, saya emosi! tapi apa yang bisa saya lakukan? saya cuma si tasha, pengampun dan penyabar.. saya cuma si tasha, anak asik yang nggak bisa marah, saya cuma si tasha, si kuat yang ga butuh nangis.. kamu tahu saya seperti itu kan? kamu tidak tahu isi hati saya? cuma dia yang bisa kasih tahu saya kalo sekarang ini saya sedang marah! SAYA MARAH atas semua kelakuan kamu! atas semua kata-kata kamu! kamu yang sering marah2 pada saya sesuka hati kamu. kamu yang masih punya muka menyuruh2 saya sehabis kamu memaki-maki saya. kamu yang seperti anak kecil. kamu yang sok jutek dan sok penting dan saya rasa kamu lebih baik mati saja. kamu yang menolak saya karena saya bukan pribumi, tapi saya juga bukan keturunan cina sepenuhnya. iya, saya kopi susu!! lalu kenapa? apa yang salah dengan kopi susu? kamu bilang kita bersaudara dalam Yesus. mungkin Yesusmu dan Yesusku berbeda. mungkin Yesusmu adalah Yesus orang2 cina. tapi Yesusku adalah Yesus seluruh bangsa, Yesusku cinta semua bangsa, Yesusku tidak pernah membeda2kan, Yesusku baik, Yesusku penuh kasih, dan satu hal, Yesusku modern!! kamu yang sering melarang-larang aku, kenapa kamu tidak mengerti bahwa selama ini aku memendam banyak luka. kenapa kamu tidak mencoba untuk mengobati itu? kenapa kamu tidak peduli isi hatiku? dan Tuhan, saya tidak bisa marah padaMu, tapi saya tidak setuju ini terjadi pada saya.. Kamu tahu? saya sangat capek. dan saya tidak tahu harus bilang apa setiap kali saya berdoa. saya hanya ingin Tuhan tahu ini, meskipun saya tahu Tuhan sudah tahu.. saya marah. saya emosi. saya geram akan semuanya. bolehkah saya terus seperti ini beberapa waktu ke depan? saya hanya ingin bebas, sebebas-bebasnya. saya mau dunia tahu saya bertaring. saya mau dunia tahu saya marah. saya mau dunia tahu saya tidak bisa diremehkan. saya mau dunia tahu saya lebih tahu tentang isi hati saya sendiri. saya mau dunia tahu saya. Label: hanya saya Rabu, 15 September 2010 @ 09.40
even heroes have the right to dream...
gue lagi belajar kalkulus yang sumpah bikin bohwat, dan gue pun teringat sesuatu yang sukses bikin gue nangis... dan pas banget player di laptop lg muter lagu ini...
#SUPERMAN.Five for Fighting# I can’t stand to fly I’m not that naive I’m just out to find The better part of me I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane More than some pretty face beside a train It’s not easy to be me Wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees Find a way to lie About a home I’ll never see It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive Even heroes have the right to bleed I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede Even heroes have the right to dream It’s not easy to be me Up, up and away...away from me It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight I’m not crazy...or anything... I can’t stand to fly I’m not that naive Men weren’t meant to ride With clouds between their knees I’m only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one way street Only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me Inside of me Inside me Yeah, inside me Inside of me I’m only a man In a funny red sheet I’m only a man Looking for a dream I’m only a man In a funny red sheet And it’s not easy.. Its not easy to be me it's really not easy to be me.. i don't know what should i do now.. i can't find someone to talk to.. i can't trust anyone.. feels like i can't decide who are my true friends and who are not.. God, please repair my wings faster, i can't take this any longer.. it's hurt and please tell me what to do, and also what not to do.. ... It may sound absurd, but don’t be naive Even heroes have the right to bleed.. I may be disturbed, but won’t you concede Even heroes have the right to dream.. It’s not easy to be me ... ~even heroes have the right to dream~ i'm not a hero, but it seems like i don't have the right to dream, and have no strength to reach dream if i had one.. Senin, 06 September 2010 @ 05.08
heyyaaa
blogg, ya ampun gue punya banyaaaak banget cerita deh mulai dari yang sedih seneng aneh biasa aja abal dst dst hahahaha... tadinya sihh sebelum nyalain laptop kayanya napsu banget gitu tapi sekarang duhhh cape euyyy, badan berasa rontok..
okeh jadi dimulai dari manakah ceritanya?? haha.. dari liburan ke singapore aja dehh hahaha... yayayaya, i had so much fun there, belanja ampe duit abis, menggila, foto2 ga jelas, dan nyobain ramen play yang superduperenakbangetaduhmaulagidongs hahahaha.. laluuu, saya pun bermain di universal studio hahaha, dan berfoto sama si lucu gendut PO :D pengen upload sihh cuma males deh nanti lemot gak jelas syalala gitu huhuhu... laluuu, saya kuliah di atmajayaaa hahaha.. you know lah yaa, elektro bener2 membuat saya gila... atau tambah gila? entahlah haha.. yang jelas hari ini sariawan saya melebar karena kebanyakan ketawa ketiwi gak jelas (hayo lu semua yang merasa bikin gua ngakak tanggung jawab! hahahaha :9) temen2 saya asik, lumayan lah bikin pelajaran jadi ga terlalu berat, meskipun tetep berat sihh hiks hiks... oh iyaa tentang 'teman' saya itu yang saya ajak ke singapur.. yaaaa, dia memang sudah menyakiti saya hikss, bikin saya nangis gara2 tweet dia di twitter yang menurut saya itu bukan hal yang pantes untuk dibilang atopun ditulis di twitter.. lalu setelah dia mengata2i saya, dia bercerita kepada PKK dan teman2 saya dan sekarang saya pun merasa mereka memihak dia.. great :9 saya sempet bener2 pengen pindah ke GRII karena tadinya sih saya merasa sahabat2 saya cuma mereka, saya gak punya temen lain selain mereka.. tapiii, siapa sangka sekarang saya punya banyak temen baru... saya ngga peduli sama dia, dia mau nangis, jungkir balik.. Tuhan tau saya selalu berusaha mengampuni dia dan sekarang tiba saatnya saya berkata CUKUP! dia gak bisa menyakiti saya lagi dengan sikapnya yang merendahkan saya ataupun kata2nya yang menyakiti.. carilah teman lain yang menurut dia lebih baik, saya tak pedulii.. saya sungguh tak peduli.. saya akan buktikan saya bisa survive tanpa anda dan teman2 yang TIDAK ADA SAAT SAYA SUSAH... saya punya teman2 baru yang baik, terlebih dari semua itu, saya punya Tuhan yang sangat baik :) okeeh,, sekian hahaha... nanti saya cerita2 lagi... sekarang mau liburaannn ke safari night haha (maklum norak udah lama gak ke kebon binatang dan kebetulan sekeluarga lagi pada mau :9) byee blog, semoga waktu liburan saya punya lebih banyak cerita2 lagi yaaaa :) Kamis, 12 Agustus 2010 @ 03.53
the only one for me :) THE ONLY ONE FOR ME performed by Brian McKnight You say you’ve seen too many things That turn out to be too good to be true.. Against your better judgment opened up your heart ’til you found the joke was on you.. Looking out on the rest of our lives If we’re gonna be together or apart.. About the only way that I know how to come is right straight from my heart.. I want you now I’ll show you how I can be the man you need me to be.. I’ve been around But now I’ve found That you’re the only one for me.. Say you’ll never fall again You won’t subject yourself to such pain.. If you give me half a chance I will i'll never leave you standing out in the rain.. But if you think that I could look you in your face and lie right through my teeth Then turn around and walk away.. Cross my heart, boy I care for you and when I look into your eyes i must say.. I want you now I’ll show you how I can be the woman you need me to be.. I’ve been around But now I’ve found That you’re the only one for me.. I need you so I can’t let go Gonna be all that I can be I want you still I always will Cause you’re the only one for me.. i can't let go of you, un.. i want you still and i always will.. ♥ loveyoumuch, M.E.G ♥ Senin, 05 Juli 2010 @ 20.24
worry, or maybe afraid?
maybe, this is the first time i feel so worry and afraid.. i think about this at days and nights.. and when i bended my knees to pray, i even don't know what i should say..
yesterday is the first time he was mad at me.. maybe not the first time he was angry, but the first time he was angry and i'm afraid.. i couldn't speak, even held his hand any longer.. then he just walked away.. i'm so confused and embarrassed.. so i ran to the toilet near where i stand and cried stupidly.. i didn't know why he was so mad, and at that time i felt so hurt and i'm afraid he just don't love me anymore.. i don't know why he was so mad, i felt so guilty.. i'm so afraid of losing him, so i talked with my trusted friend, because maybe he's the only friend who is really my friend.. and i hope he won't stab me at the back like the others.. i told him how afraid i am, i told him and asked him, how can he passed the hard time with his girl when her parents didn't agree with their relationship, how can he made them agree? and why he could be that faithful and trust GOD when the things didn't go like it had used to be.. and the last, why i can't do what he did? i told him everything, for he never judges me.. for i know he won't hurt if i have to cry in front of him, because he's only a best friend.. for i know, if i told the only i love and i cry in front of him, he will hurt and feel so guilty.. because that's what i felt when i saw him cried.. so i just don't want him to feel the same, but maybe he didn't understand.. or maybe he was mad because i've been too busy lately? i don't know.. i just know i love you much, and when you stop loving me, i will love you still, eventhough i hope you won't stop loving me.. hmmhh, clear.. Minggu, 04 Juli 2010 @ 08.01
hmmmhhh...
GOD, maybe this is the time to show the world that i'm different, i'm YOUR daughter.. so teach me GOD, to be like YOU, to love everyone who hurts me.. to pray a blessing for them.. to forgive them, eventhough because of them, i cried 'til it's so hard for me to breathe.. eventhough because of them, i have to see the one that i love so much, cried in front of me, and it hurts GOD, a lot..
please GOD, i need the strength from YOU.. |
