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dance like a fool

I am TASHA. i love my complicated life but i love GOD more, as HE never stop helping and loving me.. Likes: reading, singing, blogging, watching movie, SHOPPING :DDislikes liar, betrayer, studying, being quiet all the time (hahaha) Profiles: Facebook

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dizzy in my head

Senin, 05 Juli 2010 @ 20.24

worry, or maybe afraid?

maybe, this is the first time i feel so worry and afraid.. i think about this at days and nights.. and when i bended my knees to pray, i even don't know what i should say..

yesterday is the first time he was mad at me.. maybe not the first time he was angry, but the first time he was angry and i'm afraid.. i couldn't speak, even held his hand any longer.. then he just walked away..

i'm so confused and embarrassed.. so i ran to the toilet near where i stand and cried stupidly.. i didn't know why he was so mad, and at that time i felt so hurt and i'm afraid he just don't love me anymore..

i don't know why he was so mad, i felt so guilty..

i'm so afraid of losing him, so i talked with my trusted friend, because maybe he's the only friend who is really my friend.. and i hope he won't stab me at the back like the others.. i told him how afraid i am, i told him and asked him, how can he passed the hard time with his girl when her parents didn't agree with their relationship, how can he made them agree? and why he could be that faithful and trust GOD when the things didn't go like it had used to be.. and the last, why i can't do what he did? i told him everything, for he never judges me.. for i know he won't hurt if i have to cry in front of him, because he's only a best friend.. for i know, if i told the only i love and i cry in front of him, he will hurt and feel so guilty.. because that's what i felt when i saw him cried.. so i just don't want him to feel the same, but maybe he didn't understand.. or maybe he was mad because i've been too busy lately? i don't know..

i just know i love you much, and when you stop loving me, i will love you still, eventhough i hope you won't stop loving me..

hmmhh, clear..

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